Since our tester was a straight woman, her experience with dating sites is weighted more toward receiving messages than sending messages.(According to a study from data off Ok Cupid, the majority of women don’t send the first message in online dating conversations.) To keep our judgments as objective as possible, we used the following definitions: Bad Messages ● Spam or a scam ● Harassing or threatening ● Obscene ● Extremely short: “Hi beautiful” ● Generic copy-and-paste: “I found many features of your profile interesting” ● A neg: “I like your big nose” ● From someone who acknowledges they’re outside your age range, but messaged anyway ● Passive-aggressive or a guilt trip: “You probably won’t respond to this, but…” ● Obviously from a bot because it’s so generic and from such a sparse profile Mediocre Messages ● Suggestive, but not outright obscene ● Only talks about your physical appearance, but isn’t lascivious ● Impersonal, but starts a conversation: “Any plans for the weekend?
But of course, without your voice, it’s hard for your personality to shine through in your profile.
The best sites strike a balance between both approaches.
Chemistry, attraction, and love are obviously difficult to quantify, and (also obviously) different people have different desires, needs, and goals for their romantic lives.
Plus, your experience with any online dating site is going to be colored by all sorts of things: your gender, age, sexual orientation, looks, location. Knowing it would be impossible to evaluate the ineffable, we set out simply to find which online dating sites were most likely to get you a compatible match.
She came up with a snappy username, entered her personal information, wrote detailed but pithy descriptions of her hobbies and interests, answered hundreds of multiple-choice questions, posted photos, and browsed profile after profile.