” But of course, he couldn’t do that because it would fully ruin the surprise. There was nothing I could do except try to be patient and try not let my fears and misinterpretations of his behavior get the best of me. Maybe I’m going to have to shove everything I own in a gym bag and live out of my car again but now I have things that won’t fit in a filing cabinet and … Although we were definitely excited to share the news with family and friends and we both felt a deeper commitment to each other, having some noticeable change in our day to day lives would have added a layer of excitement and significance to what was (and always will be) one of the best times of our life.
But in the back of my mind I couldn’t help but think, “Maybe he really doesn’t want to marry me? He promised he’d propose but he’s acting all weird every time I bring it up. sob sob sob.” Because I had agreed to live together, it was like I had inadvertently sanctioned his interpretation of what cohabitation meant in terms of our relationship and now there was suddenly no sense of urgency. It was almost like living together diluted the romance and excitement of it all.
I had been down this road before—you remember all the crying, vomiting, and stealthy escape planning, so you can understand why I’d be gun shy.
Even after living through the worst possible cohabitating scenario and fully understanding what I could possibly be getting myself into, my husband made a great case with all those pesky “advantages.” I figured, “This time it’s different.
” when we happened to mention in passing that we were moving in together and I thought she was crazy.
Moving in together isn’t important enough to warrant a “congratulations.” I realize now, both she and my husband were absolutely right, while I was just ignorant.
Clarence was failing the spouse audition, big time. He was perpetually unemployable, needy, and downright full of crap—and in hindsight, I did not need to live with him to discover any of these things. Anything he probably wouldn’t notice was smuggled out; anything that might cause a commotion if it disappeared had to be sacrificed in the name of sweet freedom.